I remember, in my youth, I hated having my picture taken. My mother would always have her Pentax in hand at any outing or family gathering. As soon as I would hear her say, "smile," I would tend to make some sort of grumpy face or run out of the photo. I unfortunately likely learned some of the behavior from her since she was always self-conscious about having her photo taken. She was always the one behind the camera instead of in front. She would say things like, "Once I lose 30 pounds, I will feel better having my picture taken."
Although I can completely relate and understand why she may have felt that way, looking back I can now see how unfortunate it is that she struggled so much accepting and loving herself as she was. She was such a beautiful person in all ways. I wish she could have seen herself how I did.
I lost my dad to heart disease when I was 15 and my mom died of cancer when I was 22. I mention this not only because it had a profound impact on the person I am today, but also because, beyond our memories, our photos are not only a way to reflect on our past selves, but they are also a connection to those we love and may have lost.
Going through old photos, I realize how few she was actually in. I am grateful for what I do have, but I wish that more of the happy family moments we captured she would have been in front of the lens, with us.
I share all of this because it is important to learn to love, accept and celebrate yourself just as you are now, in this moment. You will never have this body or moment again, and it is such a wonderful thing to pause and capture that.
We all have our insecurities that can make it tough to feel comfortable having a photo taken. We have our internal dialogue that tells us, "I'll do it when...". I encourage you to work through your discomfort and insecurities versus being controlled by them. Our ability to work through struggles and self defeating mindsets can offer new perspectives and be extremely rewarding.
I encourage you to reconnect with yourself, your passions, your business, and your presence. Let's connect and create together and celebrate the beauty of your moment.
My Path to photography
For almost 25 years I worked very traditional customer service jobs. From small gift shops in South Dakota to companies like Wells Fargo and Holiday Inn, I always tended to be behind the counter, selling whatever I was told to sell with a cookie-cutter smile on my face. Don't get me wrong, there were a few jobs I loved such as working at The Denver Museum of Nature and Science and The Denver Zoo. For periods of time I had amazing co-workers a hard working boss and felt both happy and fulfilled by what I was doing. However, it seemed to be a repeating pattern that the companies I worked for lost sight of not only their employees but also their customers. It became all about numbers versus customer service and connection.
In 2021, my partner, who had been doing photography for almost a decade, stumbled upon a stunning studio space in Westminster, CO. After helping to get everything set up, I started the hunt for a new job. Maybe I would go back to what I was comfortable with, another service job, behind a counter or a desk, sorting through calls and spreadsheets; but, my partner encouraged me to take a different path.
I started borrowing his camera and learning more about lighting, styling and photography overall. I would practice by taking photos of my cat, my partner, and random still-life in the studio, but was extremely apprehensive about inviting someone to step in front of my lens. After waffling back and forth about abandoning photography altogether, I finally invited my friend into the studio for my very first official portrait session. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, but at the end of our time together, we both walked away feeling joyful, connected and creatively fulfilled. We both loved the photos we created together and now get together for photo sessions multiple times a year.
After working through my apprehension and taking that important step, I started inviting more and more people into the studio. I asked past co-workers, random people at coffee shops, community members, Meetup connections, and friends of friends to step in front of my lens.
Soon these random creative sessions started turning into referrals and paid opportunities. I was able to photograph non-profit fundraisers, community leaders, authors, entrepreneurs, local events, along with families, pets and newborns.
It has been an absolute joy to connect and create in a way I never thought I would be able to. All of this experience and human connection has made me realize how important it is to challenge ourselves in new ways. I am beyond grateful to have the opportunity to have a career as a photographer; but beyond that, I am excited to use photography as a conduit for connection.